Dr. Marion Kramer Jacobs Shares Keys to Take-Charge Living
May 14, 2012
Dr. Marion Kramer Jacobs presented helpful strategies for successfully implementing change. One piece of advice included developing a careful, sequenced plan including possible barriers and how to get from one step to another. Referencing her book Take-Charge Living, Dr. Kramer Jacobs shared with the graduate community nsights ito the process of taking charge.
Below are some often asked questions that her book addresses:
What kind of problems can Take-Charge Living help with?
Most any personal pattern in how you do things that you would like to change. Would you like to end a bad relationship? Communicate more effectively? Be more assertive? Control your anger? Take better care of your body? These and many other personal problems can be helped with the Take-Charge Living program.
Can people really change?
Absolutely. In fact, change is inevitable and ongoing. You're not exactly the same person you were 5 or 10 years ago, or even last week. What this program teaches you is how to be in charge of those changes instead of letting other people and external forces run your life for you.
Are you ever too old to change?
No. When the desire to change is there, older people can certainly learn new ways of doing things. Let's not do older people an injustice by assuming they're stuck with bad habits.
Why should I have to change when somebody else is causing my problem?
The only person whose life you have any real control over is your own. If somebody else is causing you a problem, the question Take-Charge Living addresses is: What do you need to do to deal more effectively with that problem?
I've tried to change but failed. Does that mean it's my personality to be this way?
Definitely not. Most probably you didn't know how to go about changing and didn't have a plan and a roadmap to guide you. Take-Charge Living is a step-by-step program so you'll know exactly what you need to do and get lots of encouragement for doing it.
Isn't insight into your problems enough to create change?
I wish it were, but it isn't. Insight into the cause of your problem and what holds you back from changing is a good first step. But it is only the beginning of the change process. Transforming something about how you do things requires two more things— a carefully worked out plan of action, and lots of practice.
What is the biggest obstacle to people changing?
People often want to feel ready, before they try to change. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. You have to change your behavior first, whether you feel like it or not. Your feelings will change afterwards. Take-Charge Living shows you how to make it happen.
How long does it to take to change an old behavior pattern?
That is entirely up to you. Successful change depends upon lots of practice, giving yourself feedback and fine-tuning your new behavior. The more time you put in practicing, the quicker you will see results.
What if some people don't want me to change?
That's a common problem. If you change your ways, it may inconvenience or annoy someone who wants you to remain stuck in your old way of doing things. When that happens it's helpful to get support from people who like the changes you're trying to make. The book and CD also give techniques for dealing with people who try to block you from changing.
Is there a secret to successfully changing yourself?
Several things make for success. Understanding how change works, so you have realistic expectations is one. Developing the right plan of action is another. Finally, there is rehearsing the desired behavior and fine tuning your performance until you've gotten it where you want it to be.
Should you only work on one behavior pattern at a time?
Yes, you only work on one specific behavior change at a time. That is to avoid confusion and keep you focused. But Take-Charge Living is also a point of view, an attitude, a philosophy for living. Those who embrace it fully accept that if there is more than one way to react to a situation, they are in charge of choosing how they personally will handle things. Taking control of your life is the big picture.